Monday 14 March 2011

One Last Goodbye


One razor, one vain, one life less... Why people commit suicide? Why do they pick this terminal choice to deal with their problems? Why do they pick this most selfish solution? The answer for this are not problems, pain, helplessness, regret or loss. It's loosing the meaning of life. When somebody suddenly looses what he was fighting for and can't help it and the lack of will to life comes. Pain, regret, helplessness and loss hit with double power. These are the only feelings that somebody feel at that time. What's the point of getting up? What's the point of going to work? What's the point of living? ..if you don't have for who.




Saturday 5 March 2011

Daemons Inside Me


The burning feeling deep inside which drives crazy. Body pulled by constant earthquake. Thoughts are drilling in the brain like massive drill sometimes hitting like a huge metal hummer. Body slowly turns into the ruins from the inside consumed by the daemon. I'm killing myself in small amounts, everyday is another funeral of a part of me and I'm waiting with the sound turned off I'm waiting like a glass balloon and I'm fading into the void. I'm not scared of the death because I don't know it. I'm scared of life because I know it too well. I'm afraid of letting my daemons go away, maybe they are the only thing that left from me - I'm a dry shell covering dirts of this world. Do you think if ripping the chest will change something? Or it will just release stinking, rotten and sic pulp and ruins of what has left from me contaminating everything around? Daemons like parasites leading me to the inevitable end of it all. Waiting for the moment, for my private "Apocalypse now" when I can finally and with relief sing like Jim Morrison

"This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end of our elaborate plans
The end of ev'rything that stands
The end"




Daemon of love, daemon of lost, daemon of rejection, daemon of devotion, daemon of lonliness, daemon of hope... And which is your deamon?